Venting

I know sometimes it sounds like my life is very negative because all I do is complain. I also wonder who, if anyone, reads my blog (other than Dane that is!). But really, my life is very good! When I was in elementary and high school, I had somewhat of an anger issue. I spent a lot of time angry and sometimes physically violent. I hit my friends a lot. I hit things like walls, lockers, cars, trees...if it couldn't fight back, I would hit it. Not a good way to deal with my anger, I admit. I was looking back at my old yearbooks and realized how bad I was when someone who signed my yearbook wrote, "Please stop hitting me". The summer after graduation, I took stock in my life, and through some soul searching, meditation, and a lot of what I think of as "self hypnosis" I came to realize I was holing things in too much and needed a healthier release. I began writing in a journal. Not often, just when things were flying through my head. I didn't keep the journal entries around very long, just so that my mind became uncluttered, and I got my rage out on paper. They usually got burned in a fire, or torn to shreds. It was how I let my anger go for good over whatever. Over time, I learned new techniques that have helped me get over the rage I feel sometimes. But I digress every so often. But lately, I have learned not to let things build up so that i get that angry. Things have come full circle. I have started journal-ing again. Here. I do have very good days! I have also started seeing a great doctor who has helped me with my depression/anxiety. Meds work. So, I do strive to be a better person, and I do want to put more positive entries into my blog.