So, 2009. Another new year. Where does the time go? As I look back on the past year, there has been a lot going on! New babies (not mine!), new friends, connecting with old friends, electing a new president and making history, new discoveries, and many other things. Did I keep any of my resolutions from last year? I think so, since I resolved not to make any resolutions! I pretty much feel like I copped out of the challenge there. This year, I think I am going to give myself a few challenges. I've always been afraid of making resolutions that I will break. I feel like a failure. I'm afraid of being a failure. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure in some people's eyes (read: my parents) because I've never graduated from college. But the way I look at is, I have a great job I enjoy and that I am good at. Yes, I don't get paid very much for it, but I don't feel like a drudge going to work. I have a nice home. I have health insurance. I have food on the table. I AM NOT A FAILURE! I am proud of where I am in life. Do I regret not finishing college? Sometimes. But if I had stayed in school, I would not have met my wonderful husband and most of my friends, and I think there would have been a great void in my life. Do I wish I could go back now? Yes. But there are a few things I need to be able to do this. I need more time. I need more money, I need more help! I think I also need a little more ambition and a little more courage. I always joke there are 657 reasons why I don't go back to school, but it usually comes back to those few things: time, money, and courage. Who knew I would be so scared?
Anyway...I was originally talking about resolutions. This year I resolve to have a little more courage. I resolve to try and live a healthier life. I resolve to exercise a little more. I resolve to eat healthier food. I resolve to call my friends more. I resolve to spend as much time having fun with my kids as possible. I resolve to keep a little more on top of the clutter in the house. I resolve to stay in better moods more often. I resolve to love everyone a little more, and that includes myself. Is this a lot to ask of myself? No. I am resolving to make myself a better person. Not that I am a bad person now, but I could be better.
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